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Going Once! Going Twice! SOLD!

 

 


P.T Barnum was right when he said that “there’s a sucker born every minute.”   I am living proof of that, having been taken for a sucker while on a vacation trip in 1965.  I hope that my experience will be a warning to others who let their eyes overpower their brains.

While living in Houston, Texas in the 1960s, my wife and I thought it would be a good vacation trip for the family to travel into Tennessee for a few days, then go back home by way of Hot Springs, Arkansas.  Tennessee is a beautiful state, however the few days we were there they received about one-half of their annual rainfall.  So, our outside activities were somewhat limited.

 

We made our way into Hot Springs on a Friday night, rented a room at a motel and spent the night.  Saturday was spent seeing all the sights offered there, the hot springs, the mountain trails, and the souvenir shops.  Late Saturday afternoon we were walking through the downtown area checking out the stores and shops when we happened upon a large store in a corner building.  There were a large number of people inside, sitting in chairs, and taking in whatever was going on in the front of the store.

 

I glanced up at the sign on the building and noted that it was a public auction house.  Neither of us had ever seen a live auction, much less participated  in one.  The lure was too great to refuse, so my wife and I wandered inside, mind you, just to watch.  After all, we were returning from a vacation and had little money left to spend at an auction.  “Don’t raise your hand for anything”, I advised my wife.  “Don’t even scratch your nose”, I warned.

 

We sat down on the back row and began to watch the auctioneer sell off the merchandise.  It looked like very expensive watches, rings, jewelry, and such other items.  And, they were being sold at seemingly low prices.  All at once, the auctioneer pointed at us and asked, “Where are you nice folk from?”  “From Texas”, I stammered, shocked that he had even noticed us.

He peered over his half-glasses and said, “Well, now, come on up here a little closer so you can see better.  I have some very nice items to auction off.”  The bait had been trolled by our lair, and we bit unwittingly.  We got up and walked farther to the front and sat down.  

I was shocked to hear myself bidding on a nice ring, just once.  I lost, as I had intended, but it was fun.  My wife offered up a bid on a vase, and we lost again.  Suddenly the auctioneer held up a beautiful ladies watch.  He said, “Who in this crowd of people would like to own this beautiful watch for only $500….?”  Well, it appeared that most everyone there raised their hand...who wouldn’t like to have that watch for only $500..?  So, I raised mine, too.  Big mistake.

 

The auctioneer suddenly pointed at me and said in a loud voice, “Sold to the gentleman from Texas!”  I could hardly believe what I had just heard.  I looked around quickly to see if perhaps there was another Texan in the crowd.  Didn’t see one, so it had to be me.  “Come on up to the front and make arrangements for payment”, he instructed me.  So, confident that I could get out of this since I really had not made a firm bid, I walked up to a large table with several chairs around it.  Another man sat down beside me with clip board and papers, and the watch.  “How do you want to pay for this?”, he queried.

 

Now this was getting ridiculous.  I did not want the watch.  I had not intentionally bid on it, and I did not have the $500 to pay for it.  I protested all this to the new player, but he took a dim view of my reasoning.  He informed me that under the laws of Arkansas I had made a legal bid.  I thought of calling in the police to handle this matter, but I decided that the cards were stacked against me.  With my luck, the chief of police would have been his brother-in-law.

 

Now, quite apprehensive over this turn of events, I asked, “What is it going to take for me to get out of this?”  The man cleared his throat and said, “Well, it will cost you 10% of the bid, if the auctioneer will agree to let you off the hook”, replied the man.  “Wait here and I will go check” he orders as he gets up and walks into another room.  I had decided that I was doomed.

 

When he returned, I noted that he had placed the watch in a nice box.  “I am afraid that there is no way out but to honor your bid, sir.”  The final nail in my ill-fated bid.  I was devising a plan even as I got my check book and wrote out a check for $500.00 and handed it to the man.  I took the watch, grabbed my wife and hastened out of the building and back to our motel room.  My wife was very upset over this revolting development.  “Not to worry”, I said.  “I have a plan.”

When we got back home in Houston, I went to my bank early Monday morning and placed a “stop payment” on the check.  Then I wrote the auctioneer a letter, and mailed the watch back to him.  I fully expected to hear from the Hot Springs police, or the state auction commission, or some other such regulatory authority, but I never did.

 

We have since been through Arkansas, but have never been back to Hot Springs.  We have never been to another auction, having been played the sucker once, we have honored our vow to keep it only once.  Thank you, P.T Barnum.


“Going Once! Going Twice! SOLD!”

BY:  Neal  Murphy
PO Box 511
107 Hemlock Street
San Augustine, TX 75972
936-275-9033
cell: 936-275-6986
Email: sugarbear@netdot.com

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